Sunday, April 12, 2009

While You Were Sleeping

I've been awake for the last 9 hours, during this time normally reserved for sleep i have learned that...

...Rob Grant was the talented one
or at least that's how it appears after watching the first 2 episodes of 'Back to Earth'. I initially thought that it had no laughter track but maybe we just haven't got to a joke yet. Even worse unless there are a few surprises in the final episode the plot seems to be pulled straight from The League of Gentlemen film, if this is to become a staple way to revive sitcoms of the past can 'Dinner ladies' or 'The Thin Blue Line' please be next.

...Michelle Ryan has stolen someone else's voice
There were time in yesterdays Dr Who when it didn't look or sound like her voice was actually coming from her mouth, saying that i didn't spend an awful lot of time staring at her mouth. But anyway a show about flying metal stingrays and not a single distasteful Steve Irwin joke in sight. Overall it left me cold, i mean parts of it made no sense, how exactly did hitting the cold cup with the hammer help?

...Calvin Harris wasn't the worst thing i saw all night
That honour goes to the new Noisettes video, firm contender for most disappointing track or the year so far. At least Calvin's making slight progress, at this rate he'll be listenable in a few decades.

...At 5am the only half decent thing on is
Ninja Warrior and that's only because Ideal World got boring after an hour of the 13 in 1 ladder for only £90 and that leads me on to

...Ideal World's sales tactics are a bit full on
If you don't buy this ladder your going to suffer a horrible ladder related accident the next time you need to paint a ceiling. It's ok though because i firmly believe if a job requires me to climb a ladder it'll be quicker and easier just to get a man in to do it for me leaving me to make him a cup of tea in an old mug so he doesn't ruin a nice one with his coarse, work hardened hands.

and finally

...i'm too tired to write a coherent post

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Sorry But No

Dear Milo_Myage

Administration Assistant

Further to your recent application for the above position, we have now had the opportunity to review all the applications.

Although we were impressed with the quality of all the applications received, I regret to inform you that, on this occasion, there were candidates whose background and skills more closely matched the job specification than your own. However, we will keep your details on file should a suitable vacancy arise in the near future.

We would like to take this opportunity to thank you for the interest you have shown in our firm, and wish you all the best with your continuing job search.

Kind regards.

Or how about

Thank you for you application for the position of Office Trainee with ********, we had an exceptional response in reply for this advertisement and could not interview everybody who applied.

In your instance we will not be taking your application any further, we wish you success in finding a suitable position in the near future.

Or maybe you'd prefer

Thank you for your recent job application for the role of Part Time Sales Consultant

I really appreciate the time you have put into this but unfortunately I won’t be taking your application any further. While I can't always provide detailed feedback, there were other candidates more suitable for this position.

Thanks again for your interest in us and do keep your eye out for new opportunities on our website which is regularly updated. Use your login details to save a search and we will email you jobs that match.

In the meantime, I wish you every success in the future.