Saturday, October 27, 2007

Ruining Beth Dittos Breakfast

Look I can paint a kitchen (before you say anything it's not finished in the pictures), i'm officially useful in a menial capacity. A long and monotonous task made bearable by playing Lethal Bizzle at ridiculously high volumes.

Oh yeah i have a really bad punchline to go with the title of this post but it's so bad I couldn't possible share.

Good Times!!!!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Hard Time Killing Floor Blues


Well thats it for oiNK. Wasn't a member myself but still indebted to its work. I'm not bothered about the evils of piracy, all i know is i can't afford all the music i desire so i download it. Musicians aren't losing out from me because piracy isn't stopping me from buying music simply allowing me to experience more.

Monday, October 22, 2007

She's Lost Control

Why are Oasis fans so uptight? All i said was Oasis can't be the greatest band ever because their not even the greatest band from Manchester. No reason to get all defensive is there.

So aside from meeting deluded middle aged Oasis fans i've not really done anything of note other than develop an addiction to eBay once again. A sea of cheap DVDs and N64 games is currently flowing through my door. The crowning glory of this ocean of other peoples tat is a fully boxed copy of WWF No Mercy for the N64, it truly is the single greatest game ever.

Right thats your lot for now i've got some job applications to fill out on paper of all things, how retro!

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Working Class Zero

I used to want a job because


but now it's more because

Job=leaving the house more than once a fortnight!

God i'm bored!

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Not About Graduation

Graduation was so much fun that i could write a massive long post about it but everyone who is gonna read this already knows all about it.

So instead

The most amazing can opener ever, put in on the can, one touch and it spins around the can. Perfect for lazy bastards like me, an end to all that tiresome turning.

Now i'm gonna watch The Peter Serafinowicz Show and i suggest you should do the same.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Acute Anxiety or Sex Tape Blues

I could go on about Meg White and her recent press but that would be dull and take loads of effort so i did this instead. Much easier and a damn sight more fun.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Turns Out 7am Actually Exists

As the title points out i got up early this morning and alcohol is to blame, red wine to be exact. Its becoming a recurring theme, i just can't sleep if i've been drinking (passing out doesn't count).

Well now i have the whole day ahead of me so what am i going to do? Well seen as it's Saturday and i've got the house to myself i'm gonna watch sport all day. Rugby world cup, qualifying for the Japanese GP and Gillette Soccer Saturday what more could i want.

Time for breakfast i think, might have the last Ginsters.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Out For A Kill

Why did i just waste some of my precious time watching a Steven Seagal movie let alone one with a brief apperance from MC Harvey. If i keep this up my brain will actually die a slow painful death.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Chop Chop

Wasn't gonna tell anyone until graduation but i got bored waiting so there it is my new haircut.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Wipe Your Feet Really Good on the Rhythm Rug

So yeah it's been a while, I’d love to say I’ve been to busy but really I’m just far too lazy. Well I’ve been back up north for months now and since I left chi I’ve done bugger all. I signed on so I’m doing a bit of job seeking but only really enough to get my money. In reality looking for a job is made substantially harder when you have no idea what you want to do which is unfortunately the position I find myself in.

Well summers as good as over with the return of September but this is a new kind of September for it is the first since like 1991 that I haven't been starting a new year of education. It's the end of one of the most significant periods of my life and to be honest one I’m glad to see the back of, all that learning was getting me down now I can get to work forgetting it all. Although I’d gladly swap a testicle for another year of the student lifestyle as long as I didn't have to do any work.

Despite having no job and so no money I’m still managing to spend an awful lot of it. Got a new suit for graduation, it's the first one I’ve had that wasn't pieced together from various charity shops and it actually fits! Got a nice pair of shoes as well, the first since I left school vowing never to wear shoes again. I think 5 years wearing only trainers and work boots is pretty good going.

In another act of wreckless spending I got a new MP3 player. I lost the cable for my old one ages ago so instead of getting a new cable like a normal person I bought a whole new player and you can't have a new player without new music which luckily for my bank balance I didn't buy because I’ve been killing music for as long as I can remember (home taping was bad ass piracy). I'll do a music post later cos I really should go and get dressed, it's nearly 3pm and I’m still in my dressing gown and nightcap.

Monday, August 27, 2007


I will start posting again soon, i promise.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

"There is never enough beer, to keep anyone together"

Just a few new tunes to keep ya'll occupied

The Tossers - Where Ya Been Johnny
Think The Pogues but from Chicago and still making quality music and you've just about got a grasp on The Tossers. This tracks from their latest album 'Agony'.

David Allan Coe - Longhaired Redneck

Outlaw country at its finest, sure he might be a little racist but he's from Texas so what do you expect and anyway it doesn't detract from the quality of his song writing. Although not commercially successful as a recording artist his songs provided hits for many of Nashville's biggest stars. This tune cracks me up every time.

The Fighting Cocks

I can't anything other than what's on their MySpace to pike for free so i might actually have to buy a CD for a change. Looked into them cos they're playing the Lounge on the Farm festival in Canterbury in July that i may or may not be going to. Don't know how to describe them really other than different, you'll have to make up your own mind.

Thats it for now but i might add some more later, so download, enjoy then tell us what you think.

Monday, June 18, 2007


Today I ate Mao Mix for breakast, lunch and dinner and drank nothing but Irn-Bru. Now I can't sleep.

I'm special!

Friday, June 15, 2007

If Animals Had A Legal System...

...Bill Oddie would be fucked! Springwatch is really just stalking. What a fucking pervert! I'd get a restraining order if I was a badger.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Ready To Uff

Well lets start with a quick thank you to everyone who came to our party at the weekend, it was a bangin night indeed. Too bad we didn't have more parties really.

Anyway i'm in a good mood today, mostly cos i actually feel human again after the party but also because it actually feels like summer now. Ever since i we all started school summer was a big deal, it was time do whatever for 6 weeks but not anymore. This summer i actually have to get a job and become an adult, bollocks!

I've still got a few weeks in Chi to relax like old times starting with the inevitable soundtrack to the summer. It's coming together nicely already (most of it thanks to my brother), here's what i've got so far

Cansei de Ser Sexy - 'Alcohol'
Justice - 'D.A.N.C.E'
Steve Earle - 'Condi, Condi'
David Allan Coe - 'Longhaired Redneck'
Sonny Jim - 'Can't stop moving'
Rebel Meets Rebel - 'Cowboys do more dope'
Gogol Bordello - 'Supertheory of Supereverything'
Dizzee Rascal - 'Sirens'

Anyone got any recommendations?

Here's to the last summer ever

Friday, June 01, 2007

Drunk Post

Just watched Johnathan Ross and all i can say is don't the Klaxons suck balls. Fucking shit the lot of 'em at least Rambo III is on, the night can only get better.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Down The Road

Right so Uni is officially finished for me now, last essay went in on Friday but its really been over for 2 weeks. In the last two weeks people have left Chi and set out towards adulthood, applying for jobs (some actually getting one already) or finding somewhere to live. Congratulations to all of you with dreams, focus and dare i say it a plan for your lives.

So what have i done in the last two weeks? Same as i have done for years, drink, smoke, watch TV and play on my Xbox. Why should i change instantly after Uni, i've got the rest of my life to get a shitty job and be miserable so why rush into it?

The last 2 weeks contained vast quantities of

- Prison Break - What a quality show this is, only watched season 1 but i'm already in love with it. Only thing is you have too turn your brain off and dribble cos if your don't you'll over think it and realise how stupid it really is.

- Xbox - Been playing Pro Evo 4 almost constantly with bits of Amped and Project Gotham Racing thrown in for good measure, still got Max Payne 2 to start as well. The first thing i did after Uni finished was get down to Gamestation and get all 4 for £10.

- Sleep - Still as much fun as ever

So what have i got planned for next week? Well more of the same really just with Heroes instead of Prison Break.

Oh and the new Megadeth album is much better than i thought it would be, i even like the new version of A Tout Le Monde.

So until we meet again.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007


Might be a while before i get round to a proper post so in the meantime

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Daniel Bishop


Gone but never forgotten

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

[Insert Spider Joke Here]

I don't know what scares me more the spiders or how happy that kid looks about the whole thing, fuckin' freak!
clipped from
Spiders flushed from boy's ear
A NINE-year-old American boy who was suspicious of a "Rice Krispie" sound in his ear, was found to have a couple of spiders living in there.

What began as a faint popping turned into ear ache for Jesse Courtney from Albany in the state of Oregon.

Jesse's mother, Diane Courtney, said her son insisted he kept hearing a faint popping in his ear - "like Rice Krispies''.

"They were walking on my eardrums,'' Jesse said, according to the Associated Press.

Dr David Irvine said it looked like the boy had something in his ear when he examined him.

When he irrigated the ear, the first spider came out, dead. The other spider took a second dousing before it emerged, still alive. Both were about the size of a pencil eraser.

Jesse has kept the spiders as a souvenir.

Jesse Courtney and spiders / AP
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Excuse me while i go change my pants

Monday, May 07, 2007

Circle-Jack (Chase the Magic Words, Lego Lego)

The beginning of the end is here, from now on i'll be experiencing many 'lasts'. Tonight is the last Flirt of my University life (all 3rd years take a moment to remember when it was Pounded which seen through our nostalgic eyes was infinitely better). Every day of this coming week will be full of 'lasts' and it's not a pleasant thought, well except for handing in my last ever essay i like the sound of that one.

However i refuse to get bogged down in the sadness, i'm gonna celebrate this week rather than mourn it so i expect to see each and everyone of ya in the bar at some point to join me for a drink or many.

Now for me to actually start this last ever essay.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Let Battle Commence

Right i have 3000 words to write for Friday, however i'm doing the all-nighter tonight so i can get some sleep before the ball on Friday. Hopefully it shouldn't be so hard as it's about the legend of stand-up comedy that is Richard Pryor.

I think i have everything i'm gonna need
- Tobacco
- Coffee
- Irn-Bru
- Crisps
- Pizza
- Sweets

If i see ya tomorrow don't expect me to do more than mutter something about tired.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

At Least My Ass Won't Go Numb

Grindhouse Dismantled

Right time for a little rant about something unimportant but still enough to irritate me. I've been looking forward to the film 'Grindhouse' for a while now, it's been out in America since April but i'm used to waiting on stuff to make it here, no big deal.

What is a big deal is when they go messing about with the very thing that makes the film an interesting concept rather than a simple B-Movie. Grindhouse is really 2 movies in one with an intermission and fake trailers in between. Its a celebration of the B-Movie double feature of old that is sadly missing from modern cinemas. However the film tanked at the US box office so to try and rescue the situation Harvey Weinstein in his infinite wisdom has decided to release the films separately in the UK.

Now i don't know about you but i was looking forward to sitting on my ass for 3 hours with a vat of popcorn and a bucket of coke. Unless i find a cinema showing them back to back i ain't going to bother, why should i pay twice to see the whole spectacle just because they need to recoup their losses.

Right rant over.

I should really start my essay now, 3000 words for Friday but before i do i'm gonna give a few of these Zombie Games another go. Oh try this one as well, Zombie Grinder

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Man Whips It Out Then Chops It Off

clipped from

Doctors desperately tried to re-attach a man's penis after he burst into a crowded London restaurant on Sunday, dropped his trousers, and hacked his own organ off in front of horrified diners.

The man, thought to be Polish, ran into the Zizzi Italian restaurant on The Strand at about 9pm on Sunday night, when it was crowded with people who had been watching the London Marathon earlier in the day.

Sales rep Stuart McMahon, who was eating at the restaurant with his girlfriend, told the Sun: 'This guy came running in then charged into the kitchen, got a massive knife and started waving it about.

'Everyone was screaming and running out as he jumped on a table, dropped his trousers and popped his penis out.

We don't know if he has a history of mental illness, but he's clearly not a well boy.'

Restaurant staff called the police, who had to subdue the man with CS gas, before taking him to hospital. They also picked up the severed penis, put it on ice, and gave it to doctors.

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Right 1st real post and it's about cock, well start as you mean to go on. Found this story yesterday and it almost made me forget about the unspeakably bad thing that happened yesterday. Might post about that later when i can articulate the full horror of the event.

Blogging Take 2

The idea of having a blog to call my own has entered my head again, mostly after reading Doug's and actually posting to the one on MySpace. I could just continue to use that one but then i won't be able to play with my new toy, Clipmark.

So until the novelty wears off i'll be filling this with random stuff i find on the internet and maybe a few rambling thoughts of my own.