Saturday, January 09, 2010

Alien Vs Predator Vs Killer Stripper

#4 - Dr Moreau's House of Pain

Skipped over films 2 and 3 to bring you this cheap and nasty effort. If you've seen the episode of The Mighty Boosh with the mutant race of animal-men under the zoo then you've basically seen this film.

The high point of this 80 minutes takes place right at the start, leaving you hoping for another killer animal stripper punching through a guys head moment. Oh yeah i forgot to mention that one of the mutant animal people is a super strong stripper, so maybe best sit on your hands during your lapdance.

There is a storyline in here somewhere but to be honest its all about the half man half pig dude

#5 - Alien - 2003 Directors Cut

Is the bukkake scene with the battered body of Ash really necessary? I mean yeah he's a recently unmasked robot twat but do you really need to cum all over his face.

#6 - Predator

Two future American Governors are hunted by an alien with a slack jaw and a cannon on his shoulder. Reality TV version is currently in negotiations, Neil and Christine Hamilton likely to present.

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