Sunday, July 13, 2008

Space Cowboy With A Laser Gun

Buying films from £1 shops is one of the many pleasures of the modern world. The quality varies from classics (Donnie Darko + Scum) to bottom of the barrel TV movies staring actors that the 80s shit out way back when. The 3 i watched this weekend come from the lower end of the scale.

Python
Giant snake (strangely not a python at all) eats it's way though a small town. Although firmly rooted in a sea of shit it's not without its charms. Not sure if it really wants to go all out for laughs, almost feels like two separate films one serious the other with tongue firmly in cheek. Casper Van Dien is trying out an accent for his role as the head of some military thing, as if his southern drawl wasn't poor enough he frequently slips out of it. Robert Englunds career seems to be split between Freddy Kruger and creepy scientists/professors played well over the top. When it's trying to scare it fails miserably but is genuinely funny in places, the police force in particular have some killer lines and the fight in kids play park is quality.

Lost Voyage
Judd Nelson has got fat since the 80s, real fat. Cruise ship vanishes in the Bermuda triangle and returns 30 years later. So Judd goes aboard along with a film crew from a most haunted style show and Lance Hendrikson who is there to be as bad ass as possible. Genuinely creepy for about an hour, the dark, narrow corridors creating at least a little bit of atmosphere all of which is ruined in the last half hour. Remember the Casper movie with Christina Ricci well the CGI ghosts in this look a bit like them but shitter. Fat Judd Nelson being chased by casper the friendly ghost is just embarrassing for all involved.

Deep Freeze
Dog sized prehistoric insect kills scientists and crew at arctic drilling platform. Now a bad horror film should at least contain graphic violence and plenty of nudity, this has neither. There is a shower scene but its a fat man with a hairy back, this bit is horrific. Defiantly the worst of the three, watching what looks like a turn with legs chase around a group of fully clothed young people is about as entertaining as new BBC sitcom Lab Rats. I should have bought the documentary called Modern Farming instead.

I'll do a post about what i'm listening to at the moment in the near future, probably when the new Abe Vigoda album turns up. Expect it to contain Camper Van Beethoven, The Moldy Peaches, The Flying Burrito Brothers, Those Dancing Days, Abe Vigoda and Kitsune Tabloid (compiled and mixed by Digitalism).

1 comment:

Doug said...

My favourite £1 bargain bin film has to be Troll 2. I have watched it a couple of times and I still couldn't tell you anything about it, except that it's horrific. I vaguely remember some Troll porn, although i could be imagining it. The trauma has warped my brain.

I quite fancy seeing Deep Freeze. One for the communal video sessions methinks...